Unofficial NaBloPoMo - New People??? My Knees are Shaking!

Friday, June 8, 2012
How do you feel about new people jumping into your life?


People ... interaction with people really scares me.

That was one of the HUGE delays in getting this blog going - what if people didn't like it?  What if somebody wrote something mean or bad?  What if somebody stalked me or hacked my blog?  So many questions.  Yet ... here I am.  Trusting God.  Stepping out on faith.

I have toyed with the idea of explaining part of my "terror" ... but truthfully, most of it has to do with my personality type.  I'm an introvert and shy.  But I am also a fact and figure person rather than a highly emotional person.

Sometimes, I just really don't "get it" with people.

If you know anything about Myers Brig ... I am an INTJ - and we are pretty rare.   When studying the autism spectrum for my best friend ... I was highly amused at how well my perceived personality could fit this mold ... and how many items I could check off.  But I don't consider myself autistic.  In fact, everything I noted pinpointed my as a mathematically perceptive INTJ.

But that also means that I don't usually catch onto innuendos or subtle clues - and it means that if you ask to talk to me - I'll probably freak out.  My first thought is usually, "What have I done wrong?" ... Even though it is very rare that I am any part of the question.

It also means that I grew up being called a "walking Encyclopedia".  My head is full of facts, which I love to share with others - if they let me.

I pity the person who triggers my "freaked out" switch and receives a "brain dump" of information.

It also means that "manners" don't always make sense to me ... you know the "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?"   Manners are after all, just the rules that help us understand HOW most people want to have done unto them.

Case in point:  I never can figure out what to do with a Thank-You card.  I feel inclined to save them all ... but they just sit there taking up valuable space and collecting bugs and dust.  Most are just a "Thank you for the present.  It was nice." variety anyway.  The card must have cost money - I hate to waste money.  Therefore I really don't care much for receiving a card.  I much rather see a delighted face when the gift is received or receive picture or see the item used.  Therefore, this is often the way in which I give thanks - it makes sense to me.   But some people like the cards - and I never quite know what to write on those things.


Even worse than a brain dump ... is a brain freeze.  Like forgetting my name or other important data.  People are always telling me their name and assume I remember it.  I don't.  I have to use it a dozen or so times before that name is attached to your face.   Even at the end of a school year, I hadn't a clue what my classmates names were.  Sad, right?   (I suppose I should also tell you that I'm extremely near sighted ... I couldn't see my classmates faces for the most part - and usually sat on the front row so I could see the blackboard - and everyone knows that you are not allowed to turn around in your seats.)   Anyway ... I loose track of what I am saying and .....   Um ....  then I hate looking dumb.


So, there you have it folks.

Really, the only time I make sense, is if I have notes to follow, or if I have prayed hard and just let God do the talking.



For more NaBloPoMo

http://www.blogher.com/nablopomo-soup-add-your-june-posts?wrap=blogher-topics/blogging-social-media/nablopomo&crumb=113590