Godly Boundaries vs Man's Idea of Healthy Boundaries

 

Healthy Boundaries ... it's gotten to be a "catch phrase" of mental health.

People have read some books that are "supposed to be" Christian.

I was handed a book by "Henry Cloud and Jeff Townsend" about boundaries.

On the surface, it sounds good - and it is full of scripture - out of context.

That was the problem, when my "group" and I started going to the BIBLE and reading those verses in context, they didn't quite line up with the book.

Ok, book by men vs book by God.

Which one would you follow?

I'm no theologian ... but I've done something most people, Americans, have not done.

I have read the Bible from cover to cover.

Most people read devotionals, watch Bible story videos and books, and only listen to sermons.

Or they read a watered down paraphrase of the Bible.

And I learned how to dig into the Greek and Hebrew.

Let's look at these.

1.  God never asked us to "fix" anyone else.   He asks us to pray for them and live a Godly Life before them.   And it gives instructions about being available for God to work through you and how to approach others.   Our job is to pray, point, and provide directions to God.

2.  We are not responsible for others, or their reactions - not their happiness, sadness, nor anger.  (Although as parents, we are responsible to teach our children how to react in a Godly Way).   God looks on their hearts, not us.  Nor are we to jump to conclusions.  We are to pray for them and forgive them.  Leave the rest to God.   If the BASIS of any counseling does not begin with forgiveness ... it might not be from God.   If counseling BEGINS WITH, "I know it really is impossible to forgive this, so you have to get revenge or throw them out" ... then RUN .. that counseling is NOT from God.

3.  Pray first.  Who is asking?  If it is from God, then say "Yes".   If it is from man, "then you should weigh it against scripture."    Too often we say "no" to God and "yes" to man, because the "man" part is more fun and instantly rewarding.  God asks hard things of us.  Look at the story of Jonah.  I mean the REAL one.   Jonah said No.   Wasn't that his right!

4. /  5.   These kind of go together.  Being responsible for others and anticipating their needs.  Ever read the story of Joseph?   God orchestrated so many parts of his life.   Joseph was proud and spoiled.  God could not use him until he had learned submission and obedience.  Then when he was ready, God put him in a position to be "responsible" and "anticipate needs".  The "whole world" came to Egypt for food, because of Joseph.    As parents, it IS our job to be responsible and anticipate the needs of our children.   God is always responsible for us and anticipates our needs.  

However, we are NOT responsible for their actions nor their walk with God.  We are not responsible to remove the curse that goes with the actions.   But God does tell us to pray for them and let HIM use us or others to meet their needs.   We should always be looking for ways  to "Pay God Forward".

We should look for ways to show God's Love (impossible without God!) every single day and in every situation.    That choice to "not be responsible" may be that persons LAST CHANCE to choose God.   And you said "No, I'm not responsible for them God."

No, we are ONLY responsible TO GOD if we are his child.   That whole "obey your parents in all things" ....   "Honor your Father (God) and Father (dad on earth)."   God kind of MENT that.

6.  It is NOT our job to make ourselves happy.  That is really kind of shocking that Christians bought into that so easily.  God said to be filled with JOY.   Joy comes from God and only from God.  Happiness is fleeting and conditional - if my cat makes me happy, do I lose my happiness if the cat dies?  Actually, Yes.   But Joy?  Joy sets itself in God First.   Really, is happiness a fruit of the spirit?  "Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control?

Do you really think Paul was "happy" about being in jail?  Or Joseph? Or Corrie Ten Boom?

Was Daniel happy about being a eunuch?   But they found JOY in spite of their circumstances because they believed and trusted God first.

7.   Nobody has to agree with you?   Ok.  So, if God doesn't agree?  How about that?  What if your choice doesn't agree with what God says?

As a child of God, we should always seek to agree with God.  No matter what man says.  

Man doesn't have to agree with us, because the world will never agree with God.

God never said that it was "ok to do our own thing".

He said, "the World will not agree when you do MY THING."

8.  I have a right to my own feelings.  Well, how can THAT be a problem?

Often, the Bible says "heart" for our feelings.

The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it?

Dig into the Greek ... God is saying our feelings are deceitful.

Feelings come and go.  And some of us are heavy feelers.

God has feelings.  God made feelings.

BUT God says to not trust our feelings.

Pray, seek reconciliation, if you have anything against your brother - Go to them and TALK - don't even offer your burnt offering to God until you have done so.

See, God isn't about emotions.

He is about building relationships and forgiveness.

9.  I am enough.

NO

YOU are never enough.

GOD is enough.

JESUS BLOOD is enough.

Without God, you are nothing, everything you do is nothing, everything of your life is nothing.

When you stand before God at the final judgement ... 

He will ask

WHY?  What do you bring?

Your only hope is for Jesus to step into your place and say, "Father, I claim this one.  This one is mine and my blood bought and paid for their entry to heaven."

You honestly can bring nothing.

2 Timothy 3

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

3Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

4Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

5Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

6For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

7Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

8Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.

9But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.

10But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience,

11Persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me.

12Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

13But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.

14But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;

15And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

16All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

17That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTU1Jb5U2Vs&ab_channel=ChristianSermonsandAudioBooks

Being Rich in Poverty

These thoughts have been weighing on my heart and mind lately.  I want God to use this blog to minister to others, and this is one of many topics that I feel God's leading to address.  It is with much prayer that I'll type this out, and I pray God will use it to his glory.

I wrote this almost 6 years ago ... and never felt led to hit "publish".   Over the last 3 years, a great deal has changed in our life and home, most notably is that I now work with VIPkid and we live in an apartment.  God has blessed us beyond what we asked.

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According to the American poverty statistics, my family is poor.

This video is fairly accurate ....  http://www.povertyusa.org/the-state-of-poverty/poverty-usa-tour/

BUT ... 

I found this "How Rich Are You?" tool ... and while I'm not 100% sure how accurate it is, I'm pretty sure it is close.  And according to that - we are in the top 15% of the world.  At least 84% of the world makes less than we do ...
I did notice that this does not take into consideration how many people live in your family.
 BUT  ...  even if we only brought in $4000 a year - we would STILL be in the top 15%.

Now, while in America, family sizes tend to be 2 or 3 children - in 3rd world countries  families are often 5 or more children.  I think this widens the gap even farther.


But I'm not here to complain about being poor ...  because on most days - we don't notice it much.

Most day's I'm really thankful for how rich we are.

Just look at all of these BLESSINGS!

1.  We have a house - it's a trailer house, and it's really drafty and the walls are thin.  BUT it has nearly 1000 sq. ft, 3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, a (usually) working kitchen, and too much furniture.  The roof doesn't leak (even though a few windows do).  It sits on my parents property - so we don't pay rent nor a house payment.   How many people can say they have that much space, locking doors, running water, adequate sewage removal, warm beds ... and other benefits of having your own walls and your own land?  Not only that, but we also have cooling and heating!

2.  We have plenty of clothes and shoes and bedding - we have lots of friends and relatives - there always seems to be somebody available to give us clothes.  We carefully store our bedding each Spring, so we have plenty of blankets - and we stay warm, even when a storm knocks out the electricity.  Sometimes shoes are a bit of a challenge - but usually if I let it be known that we've moved to a new shoe size - somebody meets that need.  When Scholar suddenly grew out of his summer sandals, a friend found a pair at a garage sale, and a cousin sent some down that her son could no longer wear along with a bonus pair of shoes for church, which was a huge blessing!   Sunshine got so many clothes given to her at 12 months, that I donated half of them - even after 3 other friends and relatives pulled items out for their daughters.  Who cares if they are second hand - they all still looked great!

3.  We eat.  Not just one meal a day, we eat 3 times a day, and the young ones get a snack.  Some meals are bland and quite repetitive, but we are nowhere close to doing without completely.  When our cupboards were getting very low this summer, and we were down to mostly beans (of all types) and rice, when we had no cereal or peanut butter .....  A friend brought us 5 or 6 large boxes of food - a friend of hers was cleaning out her pantry ... could we use the food?  Inside were 10 boxes of cereal, 2 jars of peanut butter, and lots of seasoning and veggies and lots more.  It didn't matter to us if the exp date was getting close - this was manna from heaven!  And even had we not gotten those boxes - we would not have starved - because we still are pulling out and fixing "mystery packages" from our freezer.  I really need to label our left overs better.

4.  We have cell phones.  Both of us.  Nothing fancy and nothing new.

5.  We have a paid for van.  It is ours and it is pretty faithful.  Cars don't last forever though - so we are wondering how God will provide that need when we get there.  We've been down the road of "car repairs exceed the cost of a car payment every month" at least twice before, so we've been blessed that over the last 3 years, this car has not needed a lot of expensive repairs.  We live out in the country - walking on a high traffic highway is not an option, and we don't have public transportation out here - or even many friends nearby to carpool.  So a car that transports 8 is a HUGE blessing - the kids can bring friends home on Sunday from church!

6.  I have 4 amazing kids that I am able to homeschool.  And even though I was not able to afford any new curriculum this year - we've been able to adapt or borrow anything that we really needed.  Because I've homeschooled for 15 years, I have a ton of resources at my fingertips.  I consider my children my absolute most prized "possessions".  They are priceless.

7.  We have internet - it's not the fastest connection - but it is faster than dial-up.  And with 5 computers using it for school and job searches, it has paid for itself a dozen times over.   Yes, we have a lot of OLD computers.  They also take up a lot of space - which is why I am so grateful that my Dad allows us to use part of his house to school in every day.  With the internet, I have access to ideas, information, and friends and family all day and all night.

8.  We can freely attend church.  Every one of my kids has their own Bible.  I have a ton of Bible resources and tools that we own - some belonged to our parents - but they are easily available.  We don't sneak to church, or huddle with flashlights with a forbidden copy of the Bible.  My kids can sing their church songs and practice their memory verses outside as much as they want to ... and it's OK.   I must also mention all of the friends and relatives that pray for us daily.

9.  My kids have toys ... tons of toys.  Between hand me downs and pass it arounds and a couple of generous relatives at Christmas - we have dolls, blocks, trains, Little People, tinker toys, legos, videos to watch, computer games (for PC), books to read, cars, bikes, and more.  Some days it can get rather overwhelming.
They don't have the latest gadgets or the latest toys - we don't know the latest fads, music, movies, or TV shows ... and we really don't miss them much.  It is tons of fun to play with a cousin's Wii ... or watch movies on their iphones and ipads ... but when we come home at night, we are not moping about what we don't have.  They still read with the old Leap Pads, work puzzles by hand, and dig for treasure in real dirt.   I actually am quite amused at what my kids do wish for at birthday's and Christmas - sometimes is it quite unusual.

10.  The "Stuff" of life.  We have dishes, pots and pans, freezers, gizmos, knick nacks, cameras, canisters, VCRs, and so much STUFF.  It is amazing how much you can acquire without even trying.  I'm not a shopper - and yet my house steadily fills up.  Some stuff is hand me downs or "family heirlooms", some we've had forever, most of it was given to us through the years.  This summer, I've been going through my mom's things (you know, she didn't take it with her when she died - and she only wore one set of clothes and a bit of jewelry when they buried her) and over and over I've wondered how we all manage to accumulate so much of so little real value.  And with so many people purging their homes of clutter ... it is very easy to come by more stuff!


Bonus:  The one thing that makes me the richest though ... my salvation.   No matter how poor I consider myself, no matter how rich I could ever become ... it is all worthless if I have turned my back on Christ's offer of salvation.  Most of my family feels the same way, as do most of my friends.   It will be a wonderful and joyful occasion as we each check out our mansions in heaven, and giggle and smile and hug and sing our way through eternity.

Yeah - I'm RICH.

Covid 19 and why we've been Snookered

I was going to polish this up ... I won't .... I'll never get this published if I do that.

A storm is coming. We have been lied to ....

Watch Revelation unfold....

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Early Summer 2020

Another point of view .... the more data that becomes available, the more I'm convinced that we don't know the real numbers at all. So who is telling the truth. And it still puzzles me why that there are so few cases in the equator zone. I just don't have all of the facts.

In fact, if you look at the data, most high deaths are among those of European decent. I find that odd.

So much of what we should do is common sense. Wash your hands (DUH, they begin teaching that in preschool.. but if you ever watch people leaving a restroom in any public place, less than half stop to wash) .... Stay home if you are sick (Again, shouldn't we be doing this anyway?) ...... Keep things clean. (What, wasn't anybody actually cleaning BEFORE? ) ..... I'm all for slowing down the rate of the virus going through the population, but things are overboard here. I cannot for the life of me figure out why they closed down all outdoors activities. Won't preventing exercise cause more harm!

Yes, I think this is the beginning of end. America has been flirting with socialism and communism now for years. I was disappointed in some of the actions that have taken place. But the power hungry rich (plenty of rich will be destroyed by those who don't want to share the power or the wealth) will come out ahead in all of this. They get tons of new laws passed that eradicate or weaken freedoms given in the constitution.

Someone is behind the curtain in OZ, and this time he's not the friendly sort.

On the positive side, for those willing to work, there are tons of delivery and selection services available. Families are seeing what their kids are like and what they are learning. Families are spending time together and finishing projects on the back burner. People are solving problems and getting to know their neighborhoods. I am seeing a LOT of good things.
Staying shut down is only helping those able to stay home ... people who have a house/yard/jobs that can be done at home/ etc. (I work for an online company teaching English, while it fluctuates, it is an income. Nothing is open, I have no reason to go out.) ..... I homeschool anyway, but my kids have now lost their outside activities (nobody has asked me lately about the importance of socialization) and yes, sometimes I get frustrated and yell at them (QUIT RUNNING!!! The neighbors downstairs don't like hearing you pound on their heads) (Then I send them outside to run) .

. My husband is "essential" selling hamburgers at McDonald's. Every day, he is exposed to hundreds (closer to 1000) people a day taking money through drive through. There is no social distancing in a store that small. They do wash hands and clean. So the "richer" stay home while the poor who HAVE to work do all of the touching and exposing themselves. Nobody is going to pay their bills. Who is watching their kids. They are stressed, no money to buy food, pay rent or house payments (if you think that stimulus check helps ... for most families, that will keep them going maybe a month. What do they do next month? And that money will NOT be given to them next year when they do taxes (read the law they passed)

One daughter has to figure out how to get to town so she can work at McDonald's, she still walks to work when she stays with us. Another daughter feels isolated because she is a CNA at a nursing home. ....... I've got a dozen or more friends in danger of loosing businesses and homes because there is no income. Some of them are high risk, but they don't have a choice, they need to find work.

Farms are loosing money and destroying crops (just not harvesting it) and livestock because the companies that purchase and slaughter are shutting down or downsizing. If they usually slaughter 5000 animals a day and now can only do 1000 a day, what do you do with the other 4000? We can't all drive over to the farm, pick up a live animal, and take it home and process it. It is easier to sell off milk and eggs every day to the local population, and even easier to do produce, but again, how far will people drive with social distancing in place? It is a matter of months before the effects trickle to the average American in soaring meat and produce prices and for the poor, they will go hungry first. What will they eat? There won't even be processed foods and prices will go up!

What happens when foreign companies swoop in and buy up businesses and farms? It's already happening. ........ I live in a small apartment, I've not left it to go anywhere (much) in 6 weeks. There is nowhere to go. This has NOT been healthy for me. It is difficult to exercise at home. Fresh air and sunshine and activity are huge help to staying healthy to fight the virus, but we are getting sicker by the day hiding in our homes. Relatively few poor have the space or means to exercise enough in their homes.

Do the lives of these millions not matter? I'm all for protecting those who are vulnerable. I'm old enough and have medical concerns that puts me in a higher risk group, but I don't want to see the economy collapse or children going hungry because I need to be protected. There are not easy answers. I am all for letting those who need to send their kids to school, people who need to work or want to work ... let them go back. Open the gyms for those who need to stay healthy. If you want to stay in your bubble and you are able to financially do it, I'll applaud your staying home. But don't ask thousands to lose everything to keep you safe either. We need a solutions that allows more winners in the equations. More support of the truckers, more factory workers, ease regulations so farmers can sell directly to the public without penalty ... and so on. It will only work if everyone is willing to suffer (and I don't mean make your lobster at home in your gourmet kitchen instead of a restaurant suffer), I mean, buy groceries and have them delivered to homes that are running out of food. People who know how to process meats and foods, should be allowed to do so, restaurants should open up, be allowed and encouraged to sell their food as take out and as dine in for those who must work. People who need surgery should be allowed to have it. Open up the outdoors so people can exercise.

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And here we are.... late Fall .... in most of the middle America, where food is grown, the folks in charge tossed caution to the wind and let farmers farm and sell ... it has saved us for now. But the truth is, there is less stored food now than there was this time last year. Normally, warehouses are brimming with stored and processed foodstuff that will be sold off during the entire winter and into the spring.